1/30/2004

The real destroyer of marriage? Divorce.

Mandy Jenkins

Republicans in Ohio and Washington have really been pushing of late for an amendment to “defend marriage.”

The real question is, from what?

Of course, they want to defend marriage form those damn gays.

But they won’t say that. Republicans leaders say that it’s about protection, not politics.

But who are they trying to protect? Certainly not their citizens, as an estimated 10 percent of them are homosexual. No, it seems to me that they are “defending” their funding base and their religious bias by catering to a Christian point of view.

Apart from the obvious conflict with our nation’s Constitution, the proposed Defense of Marriage really does nothing to defend marriage. And the marriages of our nation, especially those in our generation and that of our parents, do need defending. And it isn’t from homosexuals. It is from ourselves.

Perhaps a better way to “defend marriage” would be to focus first on the straight unions that already exist.

Divorce rates are higher than ever and young people such as myself, who were raised in broken homes, have grown up realizing that no union has to be permanent. Hell, you don’t even have to really mean it the first time around.

According to the US Census Bureau, more than 1 million Americans get divorced each year, and first marriages have a 50 percent divorce rate.

According to author Pamela Paul, much of Generation X sees their first marriages as little more than a rehearsal, rushing into a union that turns into a “starter marriage.”

In her book, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony, Paul says that many young people rush into marriage with their eyes on the “fun part,” which is the wedding itself. They seem to overlook the lifelong commitment that is supposed to come with saying, “I do.”

Of course, that could be because many of these young divorcees come from divorced families themselves. They know how easy it really is to give up on a marriage these days. Things get difficult? Small disagreements erupt? Hey, let’s get divorced! It really is that easy.

If the government wants to take action in the name of a good, old-fashioned Christian marriage, it should create community marriage counseling programs. Or, simply make divorces harder to obtain, as they shouldn’t granted on the simple whim of, “It wasn’t working out.”

While those unions which result in domestic violence, rape or other crimes should be granted divorce, those who split because she likes Prada and he likes Gucci shouldn’t just be allowed to call the whole thing off.

Forcing people to actually consider the meaning of marriage would help defend it. Making American couples actually try at staying together would make a difference. Keeping a minority group from getting married in the first place will not.

Of course, the government doesn’t want to make those decisions for us. This is the land of the free, right? So, we’re free to get a marriage and divorce whenever we want … that is, if we’re straight.

Otherwise, you can take your unholy love and shove it. You can’t have our starter marriages and illegitimate children. And you damn well aren’t getting into OUR divorce courts.

Mandy Jenkins is a graduate student of journalism and Web Editor for the Daily Kent Stater.

e-mail: mmjenkin@kent.edu